What in The World?
by ddproxcm
Summary: Me: Tired of shitty fanfics? Yeah I am too, and that is why I am writing this story. This is basically a collection of one-shots that kind of flow like a plot.
1. The Kiss

**Disclaimer:** Teen Titans are property of DC Comics.

**Author's Note: **So, it's been a few years since I've even touched this story and the other day I was reading over it and saw all of these mistakes. I decided that if I am going to keep it up on my profile, then Iam going to re-write and edit this shiz. I may add some chapters to it later, who knows; either way, I do love this story – even though it's kind of mean – it always made me laugh while I wrote it.

What I am going to do is take all of the chapters down, and then post them back up once I finish editing and tweaking them a bit. I feel it's less confusing that way and also.

When I first wrote the story, there weren't too many fics out there with the same "purpose"; however, I see that over the years, there have been more added. Actually, I think I started writing this story to get a laugh out of a few of my friends – I think it worked, I can't really remember. So anyway, I hope you enjoy... I hope you get a laugh or two...or three... Feel free to leave me any reviews, those are always nice.

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_Original Author's Note:_

**THIS IS A FUNNY FIC…. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AT ALL… Please don't give me bad reviews saying it is cliché' and/or it's poorly written and/or whatever excuse you can think of as to why it sucks…. It is supposed to suck, you understand? It's completely satirical. This is a dedication to all those horrible fan fictions out there that don't seem to have an original plot. Cheers to you!**

Robin does talk to me in this story because I am crazy; so, to make things easy for you: regular dialogue between characters is going to be in normal font…. **Dialogue between Robin and I is bolded and even typed in tacky movie script form**… it is pretty simple and really hard to miss.

**If** you even are reading this, but I can make a bet that someone is going to leave me a weird review because they didn't read this top part to know what is going on…. Let us just hope that doesn't happen or who knows, maybe they will make an appearance in the story. And trust me, it wouldn't be a good thing.

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**What In The World?**

Chapter 1

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It was a beautiful day in Jump City. Things had been peaceful for a while and Robin couldn't have woken up any happier.

"Today is the day!" he exclaimed out loud to himself. **(**_**AN: Sorry, I hate to break up the flow of this story by shoving an author's note into the middle of it, but...oh shoot! Now I've forgotten what I was going to say.)**_He had decided that today was the day that he was going to tell Starfire how he felt about her.

The Teen Titan's own fearless leader had been bitten by the love bug; he was bitten hard.

"I just don't know if she feels the same way about me? I know that she hugs me all the time and her happy demeanor increases exponentially whenever I'm around, but," Robin let out a deep sigh, "how do you really know when someone loves you? I just wish that someone had taken me in and trained me on how to decipher non-verbal communication; then maybe this wouldn't be just a problem."

Robin just hoped that he wouldn't lose his nerve and start stuttering like he'd never talked to a girl before – That would just be embarrassing! He silently cursed his chick-shyness. Sure, he was a virgin, but did he really have to make it _that_ obvious?

**Robin: HEY!**

**Me: _(giggles)_**

"Well, it's now or never," Robin said rising out of bed and adjusted his mask. "I better go find Star."

**Robin: I don't sleep in my mask.**

**Me: Yes you do! You never take it off, _ever_.**

**Robin: Why would I sleep in my mask?**

**Me: Robin, I am going to have to ask you to stop interrupting me so much. You are really breaking my flow, here.**

When Robin walked out of the bedroom corridor, Beast boy and Cyborg were in the living room fighting over a video game, Raven was in her little dark corner reading a book, and Starfire was nowhere to be seen.

"She must be up on the roof," Robin thought to himself. That would actually be a good thing because then he could escape the common room before Cyborg and Beast Boy had their regular, post video game, tofu-real food wars. _Tofu Yuck_. How anyone, man or beast boy, could live on that stuff was beyond him.

"Hey are you looking for Starfire?" Cyborg asked, batting his eyes mockingly. "Are you going to find her so you can give her a big ol' kiss?"

"No...of course not... I just need to...give her...this...PEN, yeah this pen, that I borrowed from her earlier and I'm sure that she needs it. I mean you can't go a day without a pen...because...what if you have to...write...something..." Robin pulled on his collar while he turned into a bumbling mess at the pure mention of kissing Starfire. How was he ever going to be able to tell her that he loved her?

**Robin: **_**(groan)**_** A pen? Really? Give me a little credit, here. I think that I am a little bit better on my feet than that. Don't you think?**

**Me: **_**(glare) **_**No.**

Robin walked up to the roof and didn't see Starfire up there; he was really beginning to wonder now where she was. Maybe he should ask some of the Titans. He decided to ask Raven first because she is usually the most observant one out of the three.

"Raven have you seen Starfire around?"

"I haven't seen her this morning no. Now leave me alone and let me get back to my book, 'The Inner Demon and You' and my tea."

**Robin: **"**The Inner Demon and You?" Are you kidding me? Is that an actual book title?**

He decided that asking Beast Boy or Cyborg would be useless because the twosome were already clanging around pots and pans in the kitchen. As if on cue, he heard Starfire's beautiful, innocent voice walking through the tower doors… she wasn't alone though. She was walking with someone else. It was a guy's voice and it sounded really familiar… it was… SPEEDY'S VOICE?

Robin's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He couldn't believe it. He turned around to see the couple walk through the door. His eyes zoomed in lower and noticed that they were holding hands. _HOLDING HANDS?_

Robin wasn't going to stand for this. She was HIS Starfire, not Speedy's. Speedy knew this. Why would Speedy do this? He HAD to say something.

"Speedy, what're you doing here, is there a mission?"

He saw a silly grin on Speedy's face and felt like slapping it off. _He needs to get that grin off of his face and realize that I mean serious business._

"Well no Robin, actually, I'm here dropping Starfire off from our date."

Robin couldn't believe his ears. _A DATE? Starfire went on a DATE with Speedy?_ Robin squealed and stormed off in a fit of jealousy. He could not believe this! His Starfire…went on a date with Speedy.

**Robin: Number one, I would never squeal; I don't squeal!**

**Me: Hmmm...**

**Robin: Number two, I'm storming off in a fit of jealousy? What is up with that? Yeah, I like her but I am not going to act like a child. What are you thinking over there? HELLO? **

**Me: I am thinking that if you found out that Starfire was dating Speedy, then you would storm off in a fit of jealousy. That is why I wrote it.**

**Robin: Plus, I know she wouldn't date Speedy...just look at him...he shoots arrows for Christ's sakes. His name is Speedy – he can't run fast! Starfire would never be able to wrap her head around that. Not to mention the fact that his uniform is like...the lamest thing ever.**

**Me: Robin, don't dish out fashion advice, hoookay? You used to wear underwear with feathers on them; they looked like something that Aqualad would wear as a diaper. You are totally jealous over there; just listen to yourself. It doesn't matter though, because this is MY story and you will do and say what I want you to...so no more complaining.**

Robin entered his room and heard Starfire calling after him. He tried to ignore it because he really did not want to hear about her awesome date with Speedy. "She probably had a better time with him than she'd ever have with me, anyway," he huffed.

**Robin:** **In no world, time or alternate universe would that statement ever be true. My dates are awesome.**

Starfire entered his room.

"Friend Robin, what is wrong? Do you not like Speedy? I thought you and him were friends."

"He's cool Starfire I just don't want him with you." Robin took a deep breath.

"Why not Robin, is he not a good catch? He seemed nice to me? I do not think he would mistreat me." Starfire said in her innocent voice, her emerald eyes glowing with confusion.

It was now or never. "Star, I need to tell you something, but I have to warn you, me saying this may cause you to not want to be my friend any more."

"Robin what is it? Nothing you could say could ever cause that."

"Okay, here it goes, Star, uhm...uh...eee...oooo," he began to sweat profusely and he knew that the stuttering would only get worse. "...aaaa...eeee...iiii...oooo...uuuu..That's right, you!" He yelled, finally finding his voice. "I love you. I have always loved you from the first moment I saw you. I can't bear to see you going on dates with Speedy. It will tear me up inside Star. You are my world!"

"Oh Robin.."

"And if you don't feel the same way about me, the I'm afraid I'm going to have to go and jump off of the roof."

**Robin:** **What?! Come on, I would never... change that.**

**Me: Why?**

**Robin: Just change it.**

**Me: Ugh, fine!**

"Oh Robin..."

"And if you don't feel the same way about me, that's okay; I can live with that. Just as long as I know that we can still be friends."

**Robin: Much better.**

"Robin..."

Robin started to jitter with anticipation.

"I am terribly sorry but I do not enjoy your company in that way," As Robin listened to her speak, tears started to form in his eyes. "I am with Speedy now; we are in love. I am also afraid that you were correct earlier in saying that it would make me not want to be your friend anymore. Goodbye, Robin."

**Robin: WAIT...Rewind...what the fuck was that, Rox?**

**Me: (_maniacal laughter)_ That is my awesome ending.**

**Robin: No, that's not how it would go and you know damn right! Change it.**

**Me: I already changed it once for you.**

**Robin: Change it again.**

**Me: _(frustrated growl)_ Fine, but this is the last time. From this point on, you only get one change per chapter and that's it. You better use it wisely.**

"Robin..."

Robin started to jitter with anticipation.

"I love you too!"

"You do?" Robin sounded very surprised. Starfire? HIS Starfire loved HIM back? He was on cloud nine right now. _Starfire loves me back!_

"Yes, I always have but have been afraid to tell you also. Like you, I did not want to put our friendship in danger and I didn't know what would become of me and you if I told you."

"So..." Robin twiddled his thumbs. "I guess this means that we should kiss now?"

"I guess so."

**Robin: I'm speechless...**

**Me: Then stop talking.  
**

"Star, you have made me the happiest hero in the world!" Robin picked him up and swung her around in a circle. He put her down on the ground and looked into her big green eyes, before crashing his lips onto hers in a fiery passion. _Oh, wait! I almost forgot!_

"Star I want to show you something." He abruptly pulled away from the kiss and his gloved fingers tugged at the edge of his mask. "I want you to be able to see me Star. All of me, without my mask on. Is that okay with you?"

Starfire nodded.

Robin continued to take it off revealing his eyes of a clear cerulean blue color. His eyes were truly amazing. Starfire had never seen anything like them. She could easily get lost in those eyes.

"Robin, they are beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." Robin said leaning in for another kiss. Yes. This was a great day after all.

**Robin: Readers, just for the record, I so would not have done it that way. My way would have been much more debonair.**

**Me: Robin, do not address my readers! Bad Robin!**

**Robin: That is the cheesiest thing I think I've ever done...er...read that I've done...and me removing my mask to reveal my eyes?**

**Me: It makes the moment more meaningful if you reveal your eyes to her at the same time.**

**Robin: My eyes aren't even a big deal... and I'll tell you what else they're not... a clear cerulean blue; they are Sapphire blue, thank you very much. Plus, how can something be clear and blue at the same time?**

**Me: Well aren't you just the expert on colors now? Robin, this is my ultimate fan fiction. Just play along with it, it won't kill you. (_cue Batman grunt)_**

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**May as well make this cliché' as well:**

PLLLZZZZZ review! I will not upload another chapter until I get ONE HUNDRED signed reviews telling me how much they love me...(cough)...I mean my story.

On a serious note, if you actually made it to the end of this story, thank you. You are a brave soul, indeed.

(_AN: Totally joking about the one hundred signed reviews part.)_


	2. Slade Attacks Starfire

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans obviously. I also don't own the stories – the ones with the god awful writing, plot development and just all around wretched OOCs – that inspired 70% of this chapter.

**Author's Note '09:** I am just going to keep trucking along here and keep posting up chapters since they are taking me like, uhm, all of ten minutes to do, haha. I apologize to everyone who received an alert about chapter 2 being posted only to click on a defunct link – the only way to post a new chapter one (without replacing it) was to post it up and then delete chapter one... but anyway.

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_Original Author's Note:_

OMG. Solodancer and samuraigurl1213, those were possibly the best two first reviews I have ever received. lol. It makes me so happy to know that people actually read the ANs and that know what is going on. Samgirl, yeah I know. That is why I am writing this little piece of hilarity… It all started when I just wanted to read a REALLY good R/S fanfic, and I couldn't even FIND one that wasn't like 2 years old and not completed. It was then I realized that it needed to stop and that in order to make fun of all of them I would have to write a story myself, hence this. I am glad you are both liking it so far  So here is the NEW chapter dedicated to you two. And btw, the excerpt you sent me…. It is TOTALLY going to be used. Thank you. LoL. (**Disruptive AN: Holy crap I sounded like a total n00b.)**

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**What in the World?**

Chapter 2

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Robin kept punching the bag. He was in the gym like always. People often talked about how he lived in the gym because he was in there so much. If you needed to find Robin… everyone knew to just go look in the gym.

**Robin: You can stop now; I think they get the point. **

**Me: Pardon?**

**Robin: I'm not always in the gym, either. Four days a week; maybe five, depending on how I feel. Five tops. When I do work out it's–. **

**Me: Shut up, Robin. No one cares.**

**Robin: (_clears throat_) Fine; continue.**

**Me: My pleasure!**

Today was the happiest day of his life. Last night he had told Starfire that he was in love with her. He couldn't believe it. Starfire was his. "_She is my 'perfect Star'." _He chuckled at the nickname that he just thought up. "_I will start calling her that!"_ He made a mental note.

**Robin: Now just you hold on a minute; I would never call her that. That is so cheesy. "My Perfect Star"? No.**

**Me: (_sigh)_ Is that the change that you want to make in the chapter?**

**Robin: (_mu__mbles)...no..._**

She loved him too… all of him… even his persona inside the mask. He had never intended to take the mask off, but he was glad that he did. He wanted Starfire to fall in love with Dick Grayson, as well as Robin.

He stopped working out and headed to his room to take a shower. _Now that I have admitted my feelings, what comes next? Should I ask her out on a date? _Robin started to feel nervous because he had never asked a girl on a date before. Sure, he was 16, but his crime fighting life-style kept him really busy. Everything was all new to him. _If I don't do things just right, then it'll probably drive her straight back into the arms of that Speedy fellow; no, that won't be any good at all._

**Robin: Speedy fellow? **

**Me: (_laughter)_ Yes. I thought it was a humorous touch.**

**Robin: Why are you trying to make me sound like such a loser? I have been on dates, you know; lots of them.**

**Me: Uh huh.**

Robin racked his brain. Maybe he should ask someone that knew about dating and girls. One person came to mind. _He will be able to help me. If anyone knows about women, it's Bruce Wayne._ Robin walked into his bedroom and shut the door. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out the black ear/mouth piece and put it on his face. He finally spoke.

**Robin: Oh dear God. I could never!**

"Batman…"

"…Why are you contacting me on the Oracle line? Is there danger?"

**Robin: He wouldn't talk like that...**

**Me: (_hateful glare)_**

**Robin: (_throws his hands up and starts to back away)_ hehe. I was just sayin'... but you know, now that I think about it, he talks like that all the time... yeah... (_gulp)_**

"No, I just really need some girl advice, and I figured if ANYBODY knew about dealing with women and asking them on dates, it would be you."

Batman chuckled. "Oh dear. Haha. I knew this day was going to be here soon enough. I am proud of you son. Is the girl Starfire?"

"Yes, how did you guess?"

"Richard, I have been waiting for you two to get together for a while. All I have to say is that it's about damn time, son! But anyway, let me give you advice… let's start with asking her out on a date…" Robin grabbed a pen and paper and began writing down everything Bruce had to say.

**Robin: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop. I can't take this scene any more. **

**Me: What? Why? There's nothing wrong with it!**

**Robin: Are you kidding me? Everything is wrong with it. One, Batman doesn't openly dish out love advice. Two, if I ever called him on the Oracle line to talk about women, he would murder me. MURDER ME. Three, in this time line, Rox, Oracle doesn't even exist yet! Barbara is still Batgirl. Four, he wouldn't be supportive of me dating a teammate. Five, he DEFINITELY wouldn't be happy about me dating Starfire. He has major trust issues with aliens. Hell, he doesn't even trust Clark and that's his FRIEND.**

**Me: Deep breath, Robin...damn.**

**Robin: Anyway, you need to rewrite that; it's wrong.**

**Me: (_extra sneaky smirk)_ Is that the change that you want to make?**

**Robin: Wait...what are you scheming? Nope. Nope, I'm going to save it... continue.**

Robin put the ear piece back into its drawer. He soaked up everything Bruce just told him. He felt pretty confident about asking her on a date now. He couldn't believe that Bruce knew about him and Starfire. _Is it that obvious?_

**Me: Yes.**

**Robin: Well, in this story, yeah, it is obvious. I am way better than this at hiding my feelings.**

**Me: Stop lying to yourself; it is still _obvious, _Robin. Seriously.**

Robin knocked on Starfire's door. He waited as he heard a mumbled, "Just a minute" from the other side of the door. When it opened, the room revealed Starfire in a towel. _OMG. Keep your composure, Robin, you can DO THIS._

"Star, since we…well… last night… admitted that we…well…you know..." Robin couldn't stop stuttering; he was so nervous.

**Robin: Give me a break. And again, stop making me sound like a loser.**

"Yes, and it was so wonderful Robin! I suppose you are no longer friend Robin, but now something else? No?"

Robin chuckled. She always knew how to calm him down. He felt so at ease now. "Starfire, would you like to go on a date with me? If you like, I can be _boy_friend Robin."

Starfire engulfed him in a bone crushing hug. Robin sometimes forgot how much strength she had. "Starfire," Robin croaked. "I need to breathe."

Starfire blushed. "I am sorry, Robin, I did not mean to cause injury to you. When do you wish to go on this date?"

"Well, Star, do you want to go tonight?" Robin's excitement started to build.

"Sure. Like earthlings say, 'It's A Date!' " Starfire smiled.

"Yes, Star, it's a date. Be ready by 7, okay? We can go catch a movie and have some dinner."

Robin walked away from Starfire's door and started skipping down the hall.

**Robin: I'm going to ignore that.**

**Me: And this is me ignoring your comment. **

He saw Raven leaning against the wall and skipped over to her. "Hey there, Raven!"

"Robin, are you really going to go on a date with Starfire?" Raven moved to stand in front of Robin.

"Why, yes, actually, I just asked her out? Or are you going to say 'It's about time!' too? Haha, because I have been hearing a lot of that lately." Robin tugged on his collar. Raven's interrogation was kind of making him nervous.

"No, I was going to ask you why? You made it seem like we had something between us; you made it seem like we had a deep connection. I thought that you loved me?"

Robin didn't appreciate being confronted by Raven of all people. How dare she try to ruin his day with her all around shitty personality. "Not anymore, I don't!"

**Robin: For the love of God no, anything but that. That's my change; change that. Just the pure thought of previously having 'feelings' for Raven leaves a bad taste in my mouth.**

**Me: (**_**rolls eyes) **_**Ugh, fine. You suck!**

**Robin: Seriously though, why would I want to date someone that can kill me with a shadow? A SHADOW. Also, and this is totally not her fault, I don't want the devil as my father-in-law...just saying.**

**Me: Okay, I will respect your wishes...for now...**

"No, I was going to ask you why? You made it seem like we had something between us; you made it seem like we had a deep connection. I thought that you loved me?"

"Raven, I have never loved you. Why would you think that? I love Starfire, and I ALWAYS HAVE!"

Raven stormed off in tears and dishes could be heard breaking in the kitchen. Robin made a mental note to stay away from Raven for the next few days.

**Robin: (_small laughs)_ Okay, I have to admit that even though neither of us would ever behave like that, the mental image I got from that scene was a little funny.**

**Me: Oh Robin! Do you really mean that?**

**Robin: (_serious face)_ No. **

**Me: (_gasp) _You lied? How dare you? This is the ULTIMATE fan fic, Robin. This is Pulitzer material and I promise you that you won't be able to find anything better than this. You will pay for what you just did, little man...you will pay...**

7 o'clock came around pretty quickly. _Time sure flies_, he thought. Robin waited in the common room waiting for Starfire to appear in the doorway. He was wearing a nice pair of khakis, a white shirt, and his mask.

**Robin:** **Why am I wearing my mask??**

**Me: We have already been over this, pay attention. You always wear your mask...you never take it off.**

**Robin: Why are you saying that? Where do you get your information? Rox, be reasonable, here...why would I wear my mask with casual street clothes? Bruce doesn't wear a cowl and a business suit; why would I wear my mask with a pair of khakis? Are you trying to get me arrested by the fashion police?**

**Me: Oh...my...God.**

**Robin: Please forget that I should said that.**

**Me: I'll never forget. Sorry, Robin...the mask stays.**

"Robin, here I am!" Starfire announced her presence. Robin glanced over in her direction. _Wow, she is beautiful._ He couldn't take his eyes off of her. _She is perfect._

**Robin: I wouldn't say perfect...no one is perfect, Rox.**

"Uhm… okay Star… I guess let's go."

Robin and Starfire were walking down the street in front of the theater.

**Robin: That's quite a jump; can she teleport now? Did we just magically appear in front of the theater?**

"So what movie do you want to go see Star?"

"I don't know…perhaps we can go see the X-Men. I do love that Wolverine," Starfire said with a smile.

All of a sudden, something grabs her from behind, causing her to let out a loud scream. Robin jolted around to see his precious Starfire being taken away…

"STARFIRE! NOOOOOOOO!" Robin screamed. Then he noticed just who it was that kidnapped her. It was a robotic minion. "_It can't be. I thought he was dead. How can he be alive?"_

Robin clenched his fists, and hate glared in his eyes.

"…Slade…"

**Robin: Slade...Deathstroke....really? That's the best you could do? Were your creative juices not flowing?**

**Me: EXCUSE ME?**

**Robin: He's a creepy old guy with an one eye. What's his appeal, ya know?**

**Me: Funny how he only has one eye, but still kicked your ass to the brink of insanity.**

**Robin: (_silence)_ **

**Me: That's what I thought. Slade sells, Robin. Slade sells.**

**Robin: And what's with the ending? Are you seriously just going to leave it off with "...Slade..."? That's an awful way to end a chapter.**

**Me: (_smiling_) I like cliffhangers.**

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**May as well make this cliché' as well:**

Hahaha, I can't stop myself from laughing. Like I mentioned before, most of the stuff I use comes from actual fanfics, I just change the wording and the context. I don't really like cracking fun at others, but sometimes you just have to. Plus, it's been so long by now – the stories may not even exist anymore.

By the way, I don't check these chapters for spelling errors and/or typos: it makes it more authentic :P


	3. The Emo Songfic

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans and the song is Hello by Evanescence. I've personally never heard the song, I just picked something at random.

**Author's Note '09: **I have to say that this chapter – in my humble and honest opinion – is the single greatest thing that I have ever written. (No one else will probably agree, but I don't care.) I re-read this after three years and nearly peed on myself. Hilarious!

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_Original Author's Note:_

Okay, boys and girls, this is a short little chapter, I JUST wrote the other one, and that is the REAL chapter… I am adding this here because I feel Song Fics, are HORRIBLE…. Because no one can write them well. They always just put 5 lines of dialogue and copy and paste the lyrics of the song on a page. You know the ones…. They don't even break them in the right places. They are always so random. So of course I have to do it. I hope you all enjoy my two new updates. I also updated Bound To You. So check it out. Here Goes: (**Disruptive AN: I have to say that since this chapter I actually have found like one or two song fics that I thought were good... both of which had more than 5 lines of dialogue.)**

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**What in The World**

Chapter 3

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_Playground school bell rings, again  
Rain clouds come to play, again  
Has no one told you she's not breathing? _

Raven turned off all her lights. She couldn't hold in the pain any more. Robin didn't love her. He loved Starfire. Why? Is it because she harvests too much pain within?

_Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to...hello..._

Her mind was trying to talk her out of doing this. But her heart was overruling it. "I need to do something to release the pain." Raven grabbed the razor blade off of her nightstand.

_If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

Raven felt the blood run down her wrists as she cut them. "LET THE PAIN RUN OUT! LET IT ESCAPE ME."

_Don't try to fix me  
I'm not broken_

"Yeah, Robin, I am not broken. Don't try to ignore me because of my feelings. You don't know what you are missing."

_Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide...  
don't cry..._

"I must not cry."

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello, I'm still here, all that's left  
Of yesterday..._

Raven passed out on the floor.

**Robin: Rox, what was the point of that? I saw absolutely no point in that. That song didn't even make sense with what you were trying to say. If anything, I believe that this chapter has established just how horrible of a person you are.**

**Me: I don't know... I think it's kind of catchy...especially the part about her randomly passing out on the floor. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I feel as that Evanescence and Raven go hand and hand. **

**Robin: Wow.**

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**May as well make this cliché as well:**

Review me! :)

Seriously though, not trying to offend anyone with this chapter – I know cutting is a serious issue, but you have to admit that the fanfics of Raven cutting herself are SO annoying.

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	4. Slade Attacks Starfire Part II

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Teen Titans.

**Author's Note '09**: I'm making great progress over here. I only have a few more chapters to edit and upload and then I'll be caught up. Thanks to everyone for the reviews so far, I really appreciate them :) Just to let everyone know, I **am** keeping your suggestions in mind. I already had six chapters of this story written, so after I edit and post of the rest of the chapters, then I can start on writing new ones.

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_Original Author's Note:_

Okay, out of sheer boredom I decided to write up another chapter. I know that it is crazy that I am updating so often. I really need to find a job so that I will have a life. (**Disruptive AN: Oh dear God why did I ever WANT to get a job... sitting around with a lot of free time was a whole lot better.) **People also need to start having parties so I am not stuck in the apartment all night with nothing else to do but write a new chapter. I decided to update this story and not, 'Bound to You', because this one doesn't require as much plotting and thinking. Thank You: Thank you all for the awesome reviews. I am glad you all like the story so far, I am enjoying writing it.  
-- I am also proud because the reviews I have gotten so far (on here and have actually been USEFUL ones and very detailed (saying what they like most about it and etc.) So keep that up, reviews help me to know how I am writing.  
People are actually reading the Author's Notes and my fear about having people not understand the satirical purpose of it, has been relieved. Because of that, I can now step up the humor a bit more.

* * *

**What in the World?**

Chapter 4

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**Me: Woo Hoo! Time for another chapter. So exciting.**

**Robin: No… not another one… I don't think I can make it through another chapter.**

**Me: What do you mean? This story is good, don't you think?**

**Robin: No, I don't. It is cheesy, really cliché, and it isn't even accurate.**

**Me: Sheesh, some people just don't know good literature I guess… _(eats a chip)_**

Robin was furious. His mind was traveling in a million different directions. He couldn't help it. Slade had kidnapped Starfire right under his nose and he wasn't able to stop it. He just hoped for Slade's sake that Starfire wasn't hurt.

**Robin: Well,that kind of goes without saying, don't you think?**

After the kidnapping, he had immediately run back to the tower to begin his new search for Slade. He was now staring at a computer in a basement room which had Slade clippings all over the walls.

**Robin: Of course, because I would never just enter them into a digital database instead or anything. **

**Me:** **(**_**sigh)**_ **You always have to find something wrong with something. **

_I have to figure out where his hideout is. I won't let him harm Star_.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Robin, are you in there?" The voice sounded like that of a certain green-skinned friend.

"Yes. What do you need?" Robin replied.

Cyborg's voice rang out, "You need to let us in dude; we want to help find Starfire as much as you do… You will find her faster with our help."

"I'm fine. I don't need your help. I can find Slade on my own." Robin exclaimed, frustrated that the team was interrupting his mission. The more they spoke the more time they wasted; time that could be used to find Slade and Starfire.

"Robin, don't shut yourself in the room. Let us in. We need to find her as a team. Nothing ever good has come of you taking on Slade alone." A feminine voice rebutted.

**Robin: I thought Raven was passed out on the floor because of blood loss?**

**Me: You thought it was because of blood loss? NO, not at all... she was just mentally exhausted... she's fine now. **

**Robin: How does that even make any – **

**Me: Stories don't HAVE to make any sense, Robin. They can be inconsistent as long as they are fluffy enough.**

"LEAVE ME ALONE! Slade took Starfire, and it's ALL MY FAULT, and I must FIND HER ALONE!" Robin screamed angrily. "_Maybe now they will leave me alone,_" he thought to himself.

**Robin: See, I just don't understand.**

**Me: God, I can't get anything written. What are you complaining about now?**

**Robin: I just don't understand why you would write me like that. Why, when the girl I liked was in danger, would I want to do things alone? Wouldn't I want the help of others so that I could get the job done more effectively. Isn't that why I created the team in the first place?**

**Me: Do I need to put duct tape over your mouth?**

**(_Robin shakes head)_**

**Me: Good.**

"Fine! But you better let us know before you go out and do anything crazy. We don't want to deal with fighting you as an apprentice again." Cyborg said obviously giving up. Robin could hear the footsteps getting farther away.

After about 10 minutes of thinking of possible Slade hideout spots Robin exited the room and the tower. "_The old abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city would be the perfect hideout spot for Slade. I don't know why I didn't think about that place before. I hope I get there before it is too late."_

While running out of the tower, Robin was too busy to notice that he was being followed by a green cheetah.

**Robin: Uh, I am pretty sure I would notice if I was being followed by a green cheetah. They aren't exactly hard to spot.**

**Me: Well you were busy thinking about other things, Robin, okay? Your mind wasn't focused on observing your surroundings.**

**Robin: I am a detective and a crime fighter. My mind is ALWAYS focused on my surroundings. Plus Slade just kidnapped my girlfriend; of course I would be focused on my surroundings.**

**Me: Why are you taking this so seriously? It is just a story.**

**Robin: Because, if you are going to write a story, you need to write it correctly.**

**Me: Ha, whatever Robin!**

Robin entered the warehouse.

**Robin: Is it always a warehouse?**

**Me: Jesus Christ! Do you ever shut up? Seriously?**

**Robin: Just answer me. Couldn't he like hide out in a park or something?**

**Me: Robin, why would Slade hide out in a park? That would be stupid. Warehouses are where all the cool villains set up shop, so hush it! Starting again…**

Robin entered the warehouse. He knew Slade had to be here; Robin had that 'Slade Vibe'. You don't chase after someone for years and not have a vibe when they are around.

**Robin: Slade vibe?**

**Me: (_Mean glare)_**

**Robin: Okay. (_pretends to zip up his mouth and throw away the key)_**

Robin took out his bow staff and started to descend down the stairs. Halfway down the staircase he heard voices. He stopped to listen.

"I don't think your precious Robin will be able to find us here!" Slade's deep voice boomed.

"Slade, please, don't torture me anymore. I am innocent and have done nothing wrong. Why would you do this to me if I am innocent and have done nothing wrong?" Starfire pleaded for an answer.

"I have teamed up with someone that might be able to answer that question a little bit better." Slade said as he cued someone to enter.

"Hello sister." Blackfire said in a seductive voice.

**Robin: A seductive voice? Blackfire is trying to seduce Starfire? That is kind of weird.**

**Me: I don't know. I always just figured her to have a seductive voice.**

**Robin: Why are you bringing in Blackfire, anyway? As if Slade wasn't boring enough. Blackfire has been used way too many times. **

**Me: Ahhh, but you see I'm using them TOGETHER. That's gotta be different, right?**

**Robin: (_Slaps head)_**

Starfire answered, "Blackfire, what are you doing here?"

"I am tired of you taking everything away from me. It is about that time this sibling rivalry ended. Slade is going to do all of my dirty work for me; all I have to do is sit back and enjoy the show... Who am I kidding, I never could resist inflicting pain on you." Blackfire shot a purple star bolt at Starfire's tied up figure, causing Starfire to scream in pain.

Robin had heard enough. He ran down the stairs ready for action.

"Blackfire, stop!" Robin shouted.

"Well Robin, I was expecting you to take longer to find me. You have improved in your detective skills." Slade said picking up a remote. "I hope you don't mind me suggesting that all four of us be alone." Slade pushed a button on the remote causing the front doors to lock.

**Robin: You figured he would have done that before if he didn't want me to find him. And what does he mean by "improved"? I have always been a good detective.**

**Me: (_mumbles)_ Someone has a big ego.**

"Robin help me! Please!" Starfire shouted.

"Go ahead Robin, save her." Blackfire said aging him on.

Robin walked over to Starfire with the intent to set her from the ropes that contained her. Slade pushed a button once Robin put his hands on the ropes and Robin was struck with a bolt of electricity.

**Robin: Oh come ON, I would not have fallen for that.**

"Robin, I will release Starfire from the ropes if you give me a kiss." Blackfire said as she walked towards him.

"I will never kiss you, Blackfire! Give it up! I don't like you; I LOVE Starfire. Stop being a jealous ho and let her go!" Robin was starting to get angry.

**Me: (_Laughs_) look I made you rhyme there, isn't that clever?**

**Robin: No, not really…**

"Robin, you don't know what it is like having to live in the shadows of a younger sister. You don't know the trials I have had to face. All I have ever listened to was mom and dad telling me how much better and nicer Starfire was. Well, not anymore. If you don't kiss me, she won't get released."

Slade spoke again. "Robin, perhaps you should listen to the girl."

"Slade, that isn't something you would say. What has gotten into you?" Robin inquired.

"Well, Blackfire revived me from the dead, so I am under her command and I have to follow what she says."

**Robin: This is getting extremely stupid.**

**Me: No it isn't. It makes perfect sense. Blackfire has alien technology; it would be possible for her to revive someone from death. And why wouldn't she bring Slade back? I think it would be cool to control Slade… don't you?**

**Robin: ….yeah.**

"I am not kissing you!" Robin kicked Blackfire in the stomach knocking her to the ground.

"That was not very smart Robin!" Blackfire responded by shooting 20 star bolts in Robin's direction.

Robin was able to dodge all of them but one. It hit Robin in the groin causing him to double over in pain. "OMG, I will never be able to have children now!"

**Robin: That would be a very safe assumption; I can only imagine how bad that would hurt.**

"Blackfire, LEAVE MY ROBIN ALONE!" All of a sudden Starfire broke out of her ropes with a sudden unexpected burst of super strength. She started shooting off what looked like a hundred star bolts. Starfire had suddenly gained amazing accuracy, since every star bolt hit Blackfire sending her into death.

"No one tries to kiss MY boyfriend and gets away with it!" Starfire said dusting off her hands.

**Robin: She killed her sister and she doesn't care? Starfire would be crushed if she killed her sister.**

**Me: Well, if you ask me, Blackfire is pointless anyway. Her death doesn't mean much to me either.**

Robin was in shock. He had never seen Star get like that before. "Remind me to never cheat on YOU, Star."

**Robin: What guy would say that to his girlfriend? That is horrible.**

**Me: Hey, I have actually heard that line before; do you want me to change it?**

**Robin: No! Because I know you, you'll only change it to something much worse.**

**Me: Yeah...probably.**

"Yeah, you better not." Starfire smiled.

"Star, I really love you." Robin said stepping towards Starfire.

"Shhh… don't say another word." Starfire hushed him by pressing her lips on his.

The kissed lasted for about thirty seconds and Robin stopped it before it got too passionate. This wasn't the time or place for this. Maybe later.

"Where is Slade, Star?" Robin asked as he looked around the room.

They both started looking around the room for him. "I FOUND HIM, ROBIN!"

Robin rushed over to where Starfire was standing where he saw a now dead Slade.

**Robin: Wow. Imagine that.**

"He must have died at the same time that Blackfire did… Her powers were the only thing keeping him alive… I feel bad that I had to kill my sister, but she interfered too many times in my life. I just couldn't take it anymore. And then she tried to steal you away, I wouldn't be able to handle it if she had tried again and succeeded." Starfire said with sadness in her voice.

"That would never happen. You are 'My Perfect Star.' No one could pull me away from you. I love you more than anything. I want to grow old with you. I will never hurt you, and I want you to remember that." Robin said grabbing her hand.

**Robin: Not that wretched nickname again. That is so bad.**

"Let's go Star. We can finish our date." Robin smiled.

"Okay Robin, that would be great, but can we just watch a movie at the tower, I don't want to be kidnapped again tonight." Starfire asked genuinely.

"Star, that sounds like a perfect plan."

They walked hand-in-hand to the tower.

**Robin: That would be a long walk if the warehouse was on the outskirts of Jump City.**

**Me: Oh well, you are both in shape.**

**Robin: That doesn't mean I enjoy walking. I call in my change. Add the R-Cycle.**

**Me: Alright. **

Robin and Starfire walked hand-in hand to Robin's R cycle. They hopped on and drove back to the tower to continue on their date.

**Me: You happy now?**

**Robin: No not really but it's an improvement. Am I going to get laid tonight?**

**Me: OMG Robin? I am not going to give out spoilers...and stop being perverted. **

**Robin: Well if I have to put up with all this cliché, I ought to get SOMETHING in return.**

**Me: Hush you!**

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So, like omg.... I am getting so many reviews, but no good enough I need hundreds... and don't critisize my spelling erroers, I know I cant spell right. I knoe! And no flames!!!

(_Just kidding – flame all you like :) )_

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	5. Robin Gets Jealous

**Disclaimer:** See all previous chapters. I don't feel like typing those words today.

**Author's Note '09:** So my bad, I mentioned last chapter that I had six chapters done, but there are really 7. :) Then after that all the material posted will be brand spanking new.

I decided to delete my _Original Author's Note_ because I sounded like a real asshole in it. I don't even know why; it was weird.

* * *

**What in the World?**

Chapter 5

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"You beat me again Star. I don't see how though because I'm a genius at this game." Robin said.

"I wonder why? Could it be because you purposely lose to allow me to beat you?" Starfire asked with the cutest smirk across her face.

"Now Star, I am a Super Mario Kart pro. A pro doesn't just let any pretty girl in a skirt come into his bedroom and let her beat him mercilessly at his craft...multiple times." Robin averted his eyes from the TV screen to Starfire's face. Both were grinning pretty big because they both knew that Robin had let her beat him mercilessly...multiple times.

"Yeah well, I am not just ANY pretty girl in a skirt either." Starfire said, changing her attention back to the gaming control.

"Oh really?" Robin dropped his controller completely and now leaned his body on his arm as if intrigued by what she had to say.

"Yes, really. I am the PRETTIEST girl in a skirt to come into your bedroom." Starfire started to laugh, knowing that a wrestle-slash-tickle match turned-into make-out session was soon to come next.

Robin reached ove—

**Me: Robin what are you doing?**

**Robin: Uh, what do you mean?**

**Me: YOU WERE CONTINUING THE STORY WITHOUT ME! Robin, you are in trouble.**

**Robin: Rox! _That_ is what a good beginning looks like.**

**Me: No it isn't! That is the dumbest beginning. You two don't play video games. Only Cyborg and Beast Boy play video games. They have the video game war every day. You live with them, you should KNOW those things.**

**Robin: Well, I DO play video games, and Cyborg and Beast Boy don't have a daily war, and I am telling you that this story is really not good at all.**

**Me: Well, I beg to differ! hands over reviews **

**Robin: Yeah, HELLO! The best part is ME! Oh..._hello_? The best part is _me_? I love you too, ladies.**

**Me: Robin, we have no time for that, get it together, I have a story to get on with. And thanks to you now I am stuck with a dumb opening scene. Away I go.**

Robin lunged on top of Starfire and they were having an awesome make-out session but Robin stopped it because it got too heated and now they are sitting on his bed.

**Robin: What was that? That wasn't even a sentence, I don't think.**

**Me: Uh, yes it was, Robin. Word didn't underline it green so we are good to go. Stop interrupting!**

"Robin how come you always pull away from me like that? I am beginning to think you do not find me attractive." Starfire asked with a tear welling up in the corner of her eye.

"What? Starfire, of course I think you are attractive. I have to stop myself because I find you _too_ attractive." Robin swore he felt sweat start to form on his forehead.

"Someone can be too attractive? I don't think that makes any sense Robin." Starfire was more confused that ever.

"Okay Starfire, you get me aroused, okay...sexually, and I don't really want to explain it right now because I am kind of getting flustered, so can we talk about it later? Don't worry, it is nothing to worry about and it is definitely nothing wrong. It's a good thing Star, I promise." Robin got up and started pacing around the room frantically trying to think of something else to do that would get Starfire's mind off this particular conversation.

**Robin: (laughs) Wow, talk about putting it bluntly. I don't think that would have been the way I would have said it, but it does make me laugh. At least you aren't making me gay… which I wouldn't put it past you.**

**Me: Of course you aren't gay Robin. Geez. But...I hate to tell you, there are actually people out there that DO make you gay in their stories.**

**Robin: WHAT!**

**Me: (_snickers) _Moving on.**

"Okay Robin, that is fine. Please stop the pacing though. It is making me a bit nervous." Starfire stood up beside him and grabbed his hand offering him a bit of comfort. "Perhaps we can just watch a movie? You can pick."

**Robin: Wait a minute, you can't do this to me. They make me gay? With who?**

**Me: It isn't important.**

"Okay, we can watch a movie, Starfire; mind watching a scary movie? Do they still give you nightmares?" Robin really wanted to see 'Hostel'. Cyborg had bought it and Robin hadn't gotten the chance to watch it yet.

"No, they do not. I have grown quite accustomed and found of the earthen movies of the horror genre. I will stay in here while you go get the movie."

Robin went to get the movie and Starfire went ahead and claimed her spot on his bed.

**Robin: Okay, I would NOT show the movie 'Hostel' to Starfire; she would be traumatized for months.**

**Me: She said she didn't get nightmares anymore so…**

**Robin: Still…. (_silence_) …. So with whom? Seriously? You have to tell me details. Which story is it?**

**Me: Robin be quiet! There are tons of stories where you are gay. Not just one.**

**Robin: Oh man, are you serious? That isn't cool! I'm not gay!**

**Me: Story, Robin. Back to the story, we can discuss your homosexuality later. (_smile)_**

**Robin: I'm not-**

Robin had to turn the movie off halfway. He couldn't watch anymore. "_That was the most pointless, goriest, piece of trash I have ever seen in my life."_

"I will never be the same." Starfire said. Her eyes were still wide open as if she were afraid to close them.

"Starfire, I thought you said you weren't afraid anymore?" Robin asked with concern.

**Robin: Well of course she's going to get freaked out. That movie is nasty.**

**Me: I have to agree, the movie IS pretty gross. **

"I am not. Or I didn't think I was. Oh Robin, that was horrible. That wasn't scary—that was just gross and terrible. Remind me never to stay in a European hostel."

"Starfire, you would have no reason to anyway. And even if you did, I would protect you." Robin wrapped her in a protective hug.

**Robin: HA! Yeah right, I would be dead too. I don't have superpowers. I cannot break through chains. Don't give that girl any false hope.**

**Me: Robin, I don't think they would take you. To be honest… you are a little too brightly outfitted. You would attract too much attention.**

**Robin: So it is my costume? That is why people think I am gay?**

**Me: OH MY GOD!**

The next morning Starfire woke up early and sneaked out of Robin's bedroom; she did not want to wake him up, and she had some early errands to run. Starfire was just about to leave when she noticed a pretty package standing outside the door. It was wrapped in purple wrapping paper with a silver bow around it and a tag on it that said, "To the Lovely Starfire."

**Robin: Well, you figure the wrapping would have given it away.**

"Oh wow! A present for me! I love presents!" Starfire took the box inside and opened it to reveal a box of a dozen red roses.

**Robin: Ooooh roses! How original is THAT?**

"Oh Robin, you are so SWEET!" The gift made Starfire's day and she couldn't wait to thank him gracefully for the gift. However, she HAD to get her errands done in town, so the 'thank you' was just going to have to wait. Starfire skipped out the door, "_Today will be a great day"_

Robin heard the front door shut and opened his eyes. "_Where's Starfire?_" He thought to himself.

**Robin: So the front door shuts and I wake up? Starfire moved out of my bed, rustled around, and opened and closed my bedroom door and that didn't wake me up? I don't know whether that makes me a heavy or light sleeper.**

**Me: Maybe you just woke up? I don't know; just go with it and stop being so analytical.**

Robin got dressed and walked into the main room and saw the gift. "_What in the world?"_ He saw the tag and wondered who would send Starfire flowers. "Maybe Star knows." Robin shrugged it off, grabbed a banana and headed to the gym to work out.

**Robin: Gross I hate bananas. Sick, change that right now! Right now! **

**Me: laugh You are freaking out about the idea of eating a banana? Do you have a phobia or something?**

**Robin: No, but they're gross. Change it.**

**Me: …OooooooKay, but I feel the need to warn you that you are being dumb.**

Robin got dressed and walked into the main room and saw the gift. "_What in the world?"_ He saw the tag and wondered who would send Starfire flowers. "Maybe Star knows." Robin shrugged it off, grabbed an apple and headed to the gym to work out.

About an hour later Starfire walked through the door, grocery bags in hand. "A LITTLE HELP GUYS?"

Cyborg and Beast Boy rushed to her side and helped her with her bags.

**Robin: Funny how they're always just conveniently there when you want them to be and they aren't around at any other times… It is just funny how you do that.**

**Me: Believe it or not, boy wonder,a lot of people write them like that. **

After getting everything sorted out in the kitchen, Starfire asked where Robin was and everyone pointed to the gym. "Why am I not surprised?" Starfire said as she started her journey to the gym.

**Robin: Again with the gym? Why do you say it like that? I don't live in the gym; I work out a lot though. It takes a lot of working out to have a body like me.**

**Me: I don't want to hear your ego today. Moving on.**

When Starfire saw Robin in the gym, he was really sweaty, but she didn't care how sweaty he was. She was going to give him the best kiss of his life. "_He looks so good punching that bag of leather,"_ Starfire thought to herself as she continued to sneak up behind him. All of a sudden she felt herself being knocked down by an unexpected force. She worked hard to catch her breath but it had been knocked out of her.

"Star, OMG, are you okay? I'm so sorry; I didn't know it was you! I thought it was like Beast Boy or Cyborg. Seriously, are you okay, Star? I didn't mean to take you by surprise like that." Robin finally stopped rambling long enough to offer her a hand up.

**Robin: Well, number one, I am not going to start an attack on someone that walks into the gym, and I am sure Starfire has taken WAY harder hits than a side-kick from me. She has super-alien strength. She could kill me if she wanted to. I still can't believe you had me attack her though.**

**Me: It wasn't like you did it on purpose.**

"Robin, I am fine. No worries, I just had a loss of breath." Starfire grabbed his hand and pulled herself up. "That will teach me not to sneak up on you again."

"Damn, I'm sorry." Robin felt really guilty.

**Robin: Where exactly are you going with this?**

Starfire suddenly remembered why she had come to the gym in the first place and lunged at Robin taking him in a huge hug and giving him a breathtaking kiss. When the kiss ended, Robin spoke.

"Wow, Star, what was that for? Not that I am complaining, hah."

"I am thanking you for the beautiful flowers, silly! That was a most thoughtful sentiment." Starfire gleamed.

"Oh, about that Starfire, I didn't send you those flowers, and I was going to ask you if you knew who did."

"Well if you didn't, I don't know who did."

**Me: And that's the ending. I like the dramatic ending. **

**Robin: Someone else sending her flowers is lame. **

**Me: Folks, readers, watch Robin closely as jealousy rears its ugly head.**

**Robin: I am not jealous! It's just cliché and dumb and now it is a big mystery and it is stupid.**

**Me: Stop being mad about getting competition!**

**Robin: And your whole "ending" is gay.**

**Me: (_laughing)_ According to Fanfiction writers, you are gay.**

**Robin: OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! With who?**

* * *

:P Hope you enjoyed. Only a couple of more chapters to post up.


	6. The Random 'Pity' Chapter

**RANDOM CHAPTER**

* * *

Disclaimer: Previous Apply.

**Author's Note '09: Never Mind the clicheness of the "random chapter" but that damned Tofu/Meat fight drives me insane lol. It isn't even that big of a deal.**

* * *

_Original Author's Note:_

Author's Note: Okay, don't you just hate those fanfics chapters that the author adds just because they feel guilty about not having the character in any of the major scenes? Never read one? Wow, lucky you. I have read quite a few. The fanfic will be DECENT, but then they will put in this chapter that has nothing to do with anything just because they want to feature all of the characters. It is dumb.

Word from C-line: Wow, I never understood why people write random chapters about random characters in their fic.

* * *

**What in the World?**

Chapter 6

* * *

Beat boy was eating tofu in the kitchen. Why he didn't eat meat was beyond everyone's mind.

"Wmmmhmm Tofu is good." Beast boy said while taking a bite.

"Tofu is nasty man; I can't believe you eat that flavorless crap." Cyborg yelled to him from the living room.

"Yeah well, we will see who will be talking when I outlive you all because I am eating healthy." Beast Boy took another bite.

"Beast Boy, you won't outlive me, I am a Cyborg."

Beast boy let out a cough; a piece of tofu got lodged in the back of his throat. Beast Boy couldn't speak to yell for help, so he ran into the living where Cyborg was playing his video game. Cyborg noticed his green friend flailing his arms around and turning purple.

**Robin: A purple Beast Boy with green hair. I would pay to see that.**

**Me: Be nice! He is your friend!**

"Oh damn," exclaimed Cyborg. "You're choking!" Cyborg ran around frantically thinking about what to do. He was not a good person for crisis situations.

**Robin: That's right.**

**Me: I thought Cyborg was very good in crisis situation; he is, afterall, a Teen Titan. Correct?**

**Robin: (_mumble)_**

Cyborg snapped his fingers with an idea. He ran behind Beast Boy and put his arms around him and gave him the Heimlich.

**Robin: HAHAHAHA! Cyborg giving Beast Boy the Heimlich maneuver.**

**Me: What is so funny about that, Robin?**

**Robin: (_laughing is slowly dying)_ Well, you know, he's behind him....grabbing onto his waist...you know!**

**Me: (_turning my nose up)_ No, I don't know.**

After a few reps, the piece of tofu finally dislodged and went flying out of Beast Boy's mouth and shot across the room. Beast Boy dropped to the ground, gasping for air.

"BOOYA!" Cyborg said.

Beast Boy looked at Cyborg with a thankful glance. He couldn't speak, he was too busy catching his breath.

"So yeah, you were going to outlive me, huh?" Cyborg went back to playing his video game.

**Me: (_taking bows_) Thank you, thank you very much.**

**Robin: Wow...I have no words.**

* * *

So, only one more chapter to edit through and post up and OMG let me just say that (after the Raven chapter of course...what could EVER top that) the next chapter is a favorite. It's so random and just...awesome.


	7. The Crossover

**Disclaimer:** Okay, I don't own the Teen Titans…. Caroline said that she does, but she is wrong. If anyone WERE to own them, it would be me. Melissa. But even I do not. Caroline is sorely mistaken; maybe we should admit her to the mental home. Also, I don't own _Clerks_ or anything from ViewAskew. I just happen to love Kevin Smith and think he is a pure genius.

**Author's Note '09: **So, here it is. Once I post this up, I will be completely caught up on this story and in the future if I want to add anything to it (which I plan on, do not worry folks :P) then I can. I loved this chapter when I wrote it years and years ago and I still love it now. I think it is hilarious. I got a lot of feedback when I posted it up the first time, so let's see how much feedback I get from it THIS time.

My reason for this chapter was this: I do not understand why some people crossover the dumbest things, like, it makes no sense. I guess to be completely fair, I never understood crossovers AT ALL, unless it took place in the same universe. Sure you wanna bring Green Arrow into a TT story, that's fine, but don't give the Green Arrow some Pokemon sidekick while you do it. (I swear that the fact that I hate anime has nothing to do with this rant..) So when picking what to crossover with, it was really quite clear... I needed to take another's fictional universe. I needed to take the work of a director who's cinematic masterpieces are all about crossovers. Yes... the answer was quite simple indeed. Enjoy the story!

_**Forewarning, there is quite a bit of vulgarity in this chapter just because of the crossover character.**_

* * *

**WHAT IN THE WORLD**

Chapter 7

* * *

**Robin: Oh wonderful, another chapter.**

**Me: I know, isn't it great?**

**Robin: Not really; I actually kind of dread what you have in store for this chapter. You saw the reviews, people think it is too cliché.**

**Me: Well, they just don't know a good story when they see it! Let 'em think it is horrible. (_smiles)_**

**Robin: What if I don't want to be connected with a shitty story?**

**Me: You have no choice…but anyway, this chapter is going to be good. You will see.**

**Robin: (_grumbles_) Yeah, we will see.**

It had been a couple of days since Starfire discovered that she had a secret admirer; however, it was okay because since that day, she hadn't received any more tokens of his affection.

Robin sat on the common room couch thinking about it. "_Thank goodness the secret admirer hasn't tried anything new. I __**just**__ got with Starfire; the last thing I need is some good-looking man coming and sweeping her off her feet. What if she liked the gesture more than she is letting on? What if she __**actually**__ knows __**who**__ it is?"_

**Robin: Why are you having me so worried? _I_ am a good-looking man. Also, if Starfire likes me, she isn't the type to go falling for some new guy just because he sends her flowers on a whim.**

**Me: Uh, Robin, 1…women love romantic gestures. 2…women love mysterious men. Now, what would keep someone from loving a mystery man that sends her flowers? **

**Robin: .......**

**Me: That is what I thought.**

"Dude, snap out of it!" Beast Boy waved his hands frantically in front of Robin's face.

"Wha…what in the world?" Robin said shaking his head. "Beast Boy, what the heck is wrong with you? Can't someone think in peace these days?"

"Yeah, but there are these weird guys loitering at the bottom of the tower and they won't leave." Beast Boy said.

Robin rushed to the big window and looked down at the bottom to see what Beast Boy was talking about; sure enough there _were_ two guys standing down there. Beast Boy was also right about another thing, they looked rather odd. All he could see of one of them was his long scraggly blond hair topped off with a toboggan. The other guy, he could tell, was kind of heavyset and wore a black coat. He too had long hair topped off with a hat; except, Robin noticed that he was a brunet. All Robin could think of to say at that moment was, "weird".

"Yeah, and they scared off Starfire when she tried to find out who they were and what they were doing there."

"They scared Starfire?" Robin glared out the window at the two losers. "**What** did they **do **to **her**?"

**Robin: Oh God, please tell me you aren't doing what I think you are doing.**

**Me: That just depends, what do you think I'm doing?**

**Robin: You're doing a stupid and random crossover, aren't you?**

**Me: You are so cynical, you know that? Just shut the fuck up Char- I mean Robin, or I'm a beat cho' ass. _(Disruptive A/N: That was totally from the juggernaut video that was popular way back in the day... oh you already figured that out? Okay, my bad.)_**

**Robin: Whatever.**

"Well, she told me that when she went up to them, the blond-headed one made cat calls at her and shouted profanities that she wishes to not repeat. But you know Robin; it has got to be pretty bad if even **Starfire **knows that what they are saying is profane." Beast Boy nodded and cocked his head to the side before joining Robin at the window.

"You know, those guys down there are **weird**!" Cyborg said as he made his entrance into the room.

"That's it! I am getting to the bottom of this." Robin stomped away from the window and walked to the door. "Just…just make sure Starfire doesn't go back down there. I don't want to stay up all night trying to explain to her what is going on." Robin opened the door. "Especially, when I don't even know what is going on myself." Robin mumbled while he stepped out and closed the door.

* * *

Robin stepped outside and put his hand up in order to guard his eyes from the sun. He distantly heard someone singing what sounded to him like a jingle.

"Fuck…fuck…fuck, mother motherfuck, mother mother fuck fuck…"

**Robin: What the heck?**

"_What the heck?"_ Robin thought as he walked around the tower, following the voice.

He finally spotted the source of the vulgar jingle that he was being forced to listen to. He got a closer look at the two guys that had terrorized his poor Starfire earlier that day. The one singing was the blond; he was wearing some baggy black pants and a jacket. "_Why is he wearing a jacket? Why are they __**both**__ wearing jackets? It is summertime for goodness sakes."_

The brunet brought out a boom box and began to play a song. They both started to dance and it seemed they were getting into it and having a good time; however, Robin didn't care. He just wanted to get to the bottom of this.

**Robin: Of course I wouldn't care. They are at the bottom of MY tower. –Pause- **

**Wait, why am I buying into this? **

"Excuse me!" Robin shouted to the loiterers. They didn't seem to be paying any attention. Robin always got frustrated when people ignored him. He walked up closer to them and tried again.

"EXCUSE ME!" Robin's voice didn't seem to travel over the sound coming from the speakers. He was going to have to use physical contact obviously. He walked up to the blond and grabbed him on his shoulder.

**Robin: I don't grab guys on the shoulders.**

**Me: -rolls eyes- fine. Your one change is my command. **

He walked up to the blond and shoved him on the shoulder.

**Robin: Better. Wa...wait a minute! I didn't say that I want THAT to be my one change. **

**Me: Oops, too late.**

"What do you think you two are doing here?" He inquired forcefully.

"Fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand!" The strange guy sang while he did a weird dance.

Robin raised an eyebrow and looked at the brunet. "Well, can **you **tell me anything?" Robin was obviously getting frustrated and it didn't make matters any better when all the brunette seemed to answer with was a shrug.

"You aren't going to get anywhere with that fucker there; he is as silent as that stupid kid on 'Corina, Corina'. You aren't going to get any information out of him." The blond answered.

"WELL CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!"

"Noich. I am Jay, the lady killer, the pussy king. I pull more game than Michael Jordan before he left the Bulls to play baseball. The fat motherfucker here to my side is Silent Bob. He lives for the cock." Silent Bob shot Jay a look saying that his last statement was a load of crap. "Whatever, you gay fuck, you know it's true. Snooch." Jay nodded and looked to Robin. "Who the hell are you, little dude?"

Robin gritted his teeth. He hated the phrase 'little dude'. True, he was short and his height probably hindered some of his 'performances' in the past.

**Robin: Whoa, whoa. I am not _that _short and my height has _never_ hindered _any_ of my 'performances'. EVER. **

**Me: Are you sure? Because I mean I heard that short guys sometimes have trouble-**

**Robin: NO! My 'performances' are great...great.**

**Me: Uh-huh. I will just take your word for it because I don't believe you have even ever had any, 'performances' before. And that is _totally_ okay.**

**Robin: Yeah I have… okay well maybe not THAT many…but I have had _so_ many offers. I mean Raven…_every time_ that we are in a room alone, she is all trying to like…get with me…and stuff.**

**Me: _(laughs_) Yeah, that sounds _so_ convincing and thank god that I don't believe it because if I did....that would be...so gross... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...**

Robin gritted his teeth at the spoken phrase. Angrily he responded. "Don't you know who I am? **I **am Robin. I **live **in this tower; **my team and I** protect this city. Since you are loitering at a huge tower in the shape of a T, I would have figured who I **am** would have clicked in your brains."

"Oh well that explains it then. We don't live in this city." Jay answered nonchalantly.

"_Who the hell do these guys think they are? They are acting like they own the place."_ Robin thought in disbelief.

"Where are you from then?"

"Leonardo, New Jersey."

"NEW JERSEY!"

"Yeah that's what we said. We just got bored of the old surroundings. We needed some new chicks. Speaking of chicks, Yo…" Jay leaned in to Robin. "Who is that fine piece of ass in the purple miniskirt? The things I would do to her…damn."

That was it. These guys had to go. "Okay, you two. I think it is ti-" Robin was interrupted by Jay.

"Speaking of hotness… MEOW…"

Robin turned around to see Starfire walking towards him. "_Oh geez."_ Robin turned his back on Jay and Silent Bob completely and gave Starfire his full attention.

"Robin… I need to talk to you." She looked around Robin to see Jay making really strange noises and sending pelvic thrusts in her direction. "Uhm…"

Robin noticed how uncomfortable the guys made her; she was his girlfriend and no one was going to send her pelvic thrusts except him.

**Robin: Oh yeah, I could just see myself going up to Starfire and doing random pelvic thrusts at her.**

**Me: (_laughs evilly) _Me too, Robin....me too. (_rubs hands together schematically) _ That would be awesomely amazing.**

**Robin: Don't you dare get any ideas.**

"Hey, '_Jay'_ shut up would you? And stop making cat calls at my girlfriend!" Robin demanded and then turned back to Starfire. "Now what was it that you needed to talk to me about?"

"Well uhm…"

"Just ignore them Starfire, they are dumb."

"Okay, well, there are some strange visitors in the tower. This guy, who says his name is Randal, is watching...explicit...materials on the Titan mainframe. I asked if he knew who you were..."

"I don't know anyone by the name of Randal-"

"Yes, I figured that out because he asked me if 'Robin was the chick he boned last week' and I said that Robin was a guy. Then he said that 'Robin is a gay name for a guy' and that is when I figured that he didn't know who you were." Starfire stopped and caught her breath.

"Okay. Just a second." Robin turned to the two annoying visitors. "I will be back to deal with you two later." Robin turned on his heel and walked past Starfire grabbing her hand as he passed. "Let's go deal with this."

* * *

Robin re-entered the tower, Starfire in hand. He spotted the guy Starfire was talking about, on the couch having a conversation with another guy that he didn't know.

"Starfire, you told me there was only one guy. Who is the other one?" Robin whispered to Starfire while pointing in their direction.

"When I was in the room, there only was one guy. The one in the backwards baseball cap is the Randal that I spoke of. Except when I was in the room he had a video playing." Starfire was obviously confused by everything going on.

However, Starfire wasn't the only one confused, Robin was as well. All he could do was stand back with Starfire on the side of the room and listen to the ongoing conversation that was going on between the Randal guy and some dude with a goatee.

"…so you have a date?" Randal asked.

"Yes Randal, I have a date. You don't have to act so surprised; I do have a life you know."

"No, I just want to know who this date is with. Is that so much to ask?"

"If you must know it is with," Goatee man tried not to say the name to loud. "Caitlin Bree."

"Whoa! Caitlin Bree from high school, Caitlin Bree?" Randal stood up from the couch.

"Yes Caitlin from high school, the same Caitlin that was first love; I do not see how or why it is so unbelievable."

"It is unbelievable because that girl cheated on you so many times in high school; no telling how many guys she has fucked _since_ then. She probably has an STD or something and she's just aching to pass it on to any poor shmo that will give her the time of day and the fact that you've known her previously just makes it worse." Randal said matter-of-factly. "What makes _you _think she wouldn't screw around on you again?"

"Randal, it isn't like that now. She is different; she doesn't do that kind of thing anymore."

"If you say so Dante, but I am telling you-"

**Robin: Okay, what kind of crap am I reading here? This is incessant ramble. No one is going to like reading this. **

**Me: One, it isn't rambling, it is awesome dialogue between two HILARIOUS established characters. Two, Kevin Smith makes money off of these people, obviously people want to read/listen to it.**

**Robin: Sounds like rambling to me.**

**Me: It isn't rambling. Besides, I am about to bring you in. You are only complaining because you aren't mentioned for like half of a page.**

"**OKAY ENOUGH**! I want to know what is going on here. There are two weird guys outside saying 'fuck' for every other word and I have two guys in **my** living room talking about some whore. My girlfriend is confused...**I** am confused and I am sure you are confused as well, but I better get an explanation for this in the next 30 seconds or I am going to go **crazy**!" Robin inhaled sharply. It seemed like he had just said that whole speech in one breath; he wasn't sure if he did or not.

"Who's the little guy?" Randal asked pointing his thumb at Robin rendering a shrug from Dante.

Robin's face started to turn red with fury. "_If I hear 'little guy' one more time…"_

"Weird, I have never seen him. But I do like his tall chick friend back there. Hey girl, do you go ass-to-mouth?" Randal asked as he popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

**Robin: (_gasp)_**

"Randal! Don't ask her that! She can't be more than 15. That is sexual harassment, not to mention perverted.." The one with the goatee was obviously disgusted with his friend's dialogue.

"Actually I am 16…" Starfire answered.

Robin looked as though he was about to explode. Starfire swore that she saw smoke forming around him.

"See Dante, she's leg-" Randal noticed how angry Robin was getting and paused before finishing. "-al."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Robin screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Robin, please calm down, I do not like to see you angry." A concerned Starfire tried to calm down her boyfriend.

Robin walked over to the two standing by the couch. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Don't look at me! I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" Dante put up his hands as if he were surrendering. "Well...not here, but where I came from, I wasn't supposed to be there today."

"I am Randal Graves, that there is Dante Hicks, and we don't know why we are here. Just sort of happened I guess." Randal answered the little guy's question.

**Robin: Stop calling me a little guy.**

**Me: Why does it bother you _so_ much Robin? You _are_ little.**

**Robin: I may be short, but I am not little. It sounds like you are trying to make it seem like I'm not...well...endowed.**

**Me: Uhm, I wasn't even _thinking _that; however, the 'equipment' must be lacking for you to quickly jump to that defense. I have a dirty mind and even _I_ wasn't thinking like that. Get your mind out of the gutter will ya…**

**Robin: (_groan) _ You're impossible, woman! Why are you trying to make me sound like a pervert in front of our lovely readers? (_waves)_ Hey ladies! Call me! (_wink_)**

**Me: Shut up Robin, no one wants to call you. By the way, I did just recently read a fic where you got hit in the head and you were very horny. (Disruptive AN: That is me pumping Caroline's story thats located in my profile...in case you were wondering.)**

**Robin: STOP…just stop it.**

**Me: Sheeesh, okay.**

"Just sort of happened? People appearing at the tower out of the blue, for no apparent reason, doesn't **just** happen. How did you get here?" Robin demanded to know. He wanted some answers; he was tired of being confused about all of this.

"Well, you are going to have to live with it because it **did** 'just happen'. One minute I was at RST video, the next minute I was here watching porn on the huge TV screen. I wasn't complaining. Then party pooper here pops in out of nowhere and rains on **my** parade; I have to pause the video and listen to his whining rant. 'Why am I here? I am not supposed to be here; I have a date tonight.' I mean everyone should be feeling bad for **me** right now because I had to stop my porn and hear him talk about his date with queen slut. It was hermaphroditic porn too!"

"I already **told** you Randal, she isn't _like that_ anymore. She is a perfectly clean human being. She may have been a whore in the past but-" Dante started.

"Oh my God you guys, you will never guess what just happened! I just ran into this Caitlin chick outside and she wanted to have sex with me; when I turned her down she just kept trying to offer me a blow job. She did look kind of dirty so I declined, but still!" Beast Boy said walking through the door.

"I **told ya so**!" Randal grinned. He loved being right.

"What? How can you even be sure it's the same Caitlin, Randal?" Dante really did not want to believe that the girl he assumed was the love of his life was going to offer a green guy a blow job.

"Trust me, it **was the same **Caitlin." Randal knew he was right; Dante was just in denial.

"She probably just gave up on me because I am not at the shop today, god. I get one chance and I miss out on it; that is the story of my life. But just because she thinks someone is cute and offers sexual…favors to him, doesn't mean she is still a whore. I mean just earlier Randal, you were trying to hit on the young girl."

"And I still am- girl, you are HOT." Randal winked at Starfire.

"THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND, stop hitting on her." Robin wanted all these people out of the tower and now. "Everyone get out, this is too stressful. And take your weed soliciting friends with you when you go."

"Jay and Silent Bob aren't our responsibility. You keep them, they run off our business. You can keep Caitlin the whore too." Randal sat back down on the couch.

"She isn't a whore. I am trying to tell you that." Dante tried to defend her, but no one was listening obviously.

"Holy shit folks! This girl outside just offered to blow me!" Cyborg came in and yelled to the crowd in the common room.

"Oh fuck it!" Dante raised his hands in defeat. "Okay, I give up."

Randal started laughing hysterically on the couch.

"Robin, I hate to say this, but I really have no idea what is going on." Starfire said, being her usual confused self.

**Robin: Starfire isn't always confused; that's being a bit rash.**

**Me: Everyone has their opinions.**

"Oh yeah, shorty, what's up with the name 'Robin'. That is gay don't you think?" Randal commented.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Robin started screaming again.

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Robin jolted upwards in his bed. "What the hell was that? Why was I dreaming about CLERKS?" Robin shook his head trying to get the dream and all its images out of his brain. "_Now THAT was a bad dream if I ever had one."_

"Robin, are you okay?" Starfire frantically opened the door to check on Robin. "I heard you screaming and I was just coming to make sure you weren't in any danger."

**Robin: Aw, how sweet,**

"No I am fine Star, you can go back to bed…it was just a bad dream," Robin said attempting to calm her nerves.

"Whew, okay, that is good. I was too tired to go into battle and whoop some butt tonight. Well, goodnight Robin. Snoogins!" Starfire exited and shut his door.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "_Snoogins? Why would she say that?_"

Robin thought for a minute than decided to let it go. He would question it tomorrow, now he just wanted some Jay and Silent Bob free sleep.

* * *

**Robin: Wow…**

**Me: I am glad you liked it Robin, I think it is a masterpiece. It is like the ultimate crossover; I don't think anyone could have thought of a better crossover idea.**

**Robin: It wasn't all that great, but I will admit, it wasn't _bad_. It is better than the other chapters. At least this one had _some_ originality to it…the others were nothing but cliché. They were dumb.**

**Me: Robin be useful for once and tell the readers to review the story.**

**Robin: Review the story.**

**Me: There we go. Bye readers, I will see you on the next chapter.**

**Robin: (_rolls eyes) _Oh goodness, the impatience taketh me over. I just can't wait.**

**Me: I love sarcasm. **


	8. Another Emo Songfic

**Author's Note**: It's been so long since I've updated this story and I hope that I still have some readers out there enjoying it. This is the emo songfic, part deux. I did "Hello" by Evanescence, so let's tackle an even better song…. "Hello" by Lionel Richie.

**Disclaimer:** I don't think this needs to be said, but I am not Lionel Richie nor do I own DC Comics or its characters. A-thank you.

* * *

**What in the World**

Chapter 8

* * *

**Robin:** **What am I doing here? Rox, I thought you were done torturing me a long time ago.**

**Me: Torture? Here I am, writing legitimately good fiction and trying to keep the spirit of you alive, Robin! In case you haven't noticed, Teen Titans fanfiction is dying; no one is reading anymore. **

**Robin: Where's your proof of that?**

**Me: I hardly get any reviews...and I'm awesome. Everyone reads my stuff, so if people were still reading, then I would get more reviews.**

**Robin: Either way, that honestly doesn't bother me.**

**Me: Well, it should. From what I hear, comic book characters are like fairies; when people stop reading, they die.**

**Robin: …I don't think that's…**

**Me: Shush you!**

_I've been alone with you inside my mind__  
__And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times_

**Robin: Ohhhh, no. Not another one of these; the last one was bad enough. We get it, Raven…**

**Me: The more you talk, the longer you are stuck with me.**

**Robin: ...**

_I sometimes see you pass outside my door_

"Well, goodnight," Robin announced as he turned off the light, walked out of the common room and into the hallway adjacent to the bedrooms not knowing that desperate eyes were watching him; the eyes of someone that needed him – craved him.

_Hello, is it me you're looking for?_

"Robin…" the voiced raggedly whispered, "have you been looking for me?"

_I can see it in your eyes_

"Your beautiful blue eyes…"

_I can see it in your smile_

"Your perfectly straight smile…"

_You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide__  
__'Cause you know just what to say__  
__And you know just what to do__  
__And I want to tell you so much, I love you..._

"I love you, but you're in love with Starfire! Why can't you be in love with me? I deserve a chance!"

Raven walked across the room and turned the volume down on the radio; she couldn't listen to it anymore.

_Hello_

After hearing the line, she turned the radio off completely. "Cyborg, why are you sitting in the dark, listening to Lionel Richie?" Raven turned on the light and looked at the machine man in his solemn human eye. "You know pining over Robin is pointless; he's never going to look at anyone that doesn't have super-sized breasts and orange skin."

"I know, Raven," Cyborg said, wishing he could cry. "I just wish that I was the one that Robin was looking for."

"Me too, Cyborg," Raven commiserated. "Me too."_  
_

**Me: The end!**

**Robin: That was NOT good at all; it had no ending**

**Me: What are you talking about? It did have an ending – it was a twist. Get it? Cyborg was the one moping over you! Not Raven! He's totally gay.**

**Robin: Cyborg is one of my best friends! He's not gay.**

**Me: We'll see ;)**

* * *

**Final Note:** What a twist! I hope everyone got a giggle out of this chapter – please review. Also, if there are some clichés that my readers want me to tackle and write humorously about, let me know! Just send me a PM or say it in a review and I will do my best to oblige. After all, who am I if I don't try to appeal to my loyal readers?


End file.
